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Dear Jan- An Analysis
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Reread the letter to Jan at the beginning of this chapter and note any passages you now find suspect; then read the analysis below:
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Paragraph 2-Gavin sees friendship largely through American eyes, which is only natural. Take his response to the friend who asked Gavin to lie for him: while such behavior is probably not something many Americans (certainly not Gavin) would consider asking of a friend, it may be well within the bounds of friendship in some cultures.
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Paragraph 3-Gavin also interprets the next incident, concerning his grandmother, through American eyes. It does not appear that Gavin's grandmother has loomed large in his life. Like many American families, the grandparents may have lived some distance away and not been actively involved in Gavin's everyday life. Hence, his grandmother's passing away does not have so strong an impact on him. In the case of Gavin's friend, however, it is possible that several generations of the family inhabit the same household, or live close by, and the bonds between grandson and grandparent are as close as those between mother and son. The death of one's grandmother would be a major event-and one that Gavin should have mentioned immediately to someone he considered his friend.
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Paragraph 4-This same cultural difference is at work in paragraph 4. To Gavin, the death of a cousin, whom one might see once or twice a year at the holidays, hardly justifies four days off from work. But once again, the closely knit family structure in many cultures means that cousins might be as close to each other as brothers and sisters. Moreover, some cultures may expect more response at the time of a death than merely attending the funeral or sending a sympathy card.
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Paragraph 5-Finally, regarding his girlfriend, Gavin doesn't make any mistakes here, as such, except to interpret all of her behaviors from his American point of view. It's true that in the United States, bringing your sister along on a date is unusual and might make one think this was something less than a date, but in Gavin's host country, for all he knows, it may be the norm. Accepting the invitation to go out may be a powerful message in that culture, more powerful than he realizes, and the significance Gavin assigns to holding hands and kissing may or may not be the same in the local culture.
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